Category Archives: Uncategorized

Sep6

Still in the Competition…

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Still in the Competition…

I blogged a few weeks back that I had entered a weight loss competition in my community.  I’m still going strong, and I am not about to quit, but it’s been a rough start so far.  This week I will be checking in with our coach and getting my “new” measurements, and some new routines for my workouts.  I know the scale is not the only way to measure how you are doing, and I thank God for that, cause the scale is definitely not my friend yet.  I have a fantastic support system, in the group I’m doing this with, but also with my friends… I have almost daily invitations to walk, and one friend can’t wait to get me to her gym.  My husband and son’s have walked with me and even helped me with my weight training.  Eating healthy hasn’t been as hard as I thought, and I am already used to eating smaller portions. So, how am I doing in the competition?  I have been asked many times, so I thought I would give you all the top ten reasons why I think I might not be in the running, but I am still in the game!

Top ten ways you know you might not be winning a weight loss competition…

  1. You don’t loose any weight the first week.
  2. You miss your first mandatory conference call.
  3. You have oral surgery the first week…pain meds are not conducive to exercise.
  4. You’re the last one up the hill at a group exercise event.
  5. You’re the last one down the hill at a group exercise event.
  6. You run into your trainer at a dessert table.
  7. You already have unchangeable plans, and will miss the biggest group boot camp of the competition.
  8. You exercised with a fellow contestant and you had to lay on a bench while she did extra laps.
  9. When your trainer asked you if you could start taking your coffee black, you responded with, “I’d rather die”.
  10. After you lost 4 pounds, you gain a pound and a half right back

So there you have it.  I’m only 4 weeks in to this 12 week competition.  Despite my rocky start,  I am still motivated – I’ve also come to the conclusion that even though I would love to win this thing, I want to loose weight for myself even more, and I know I can, no matter what.  Really.

Sep5

Serious Sunday…Accountability

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Serious Sunday…Accountability

I’ve been thinking about accountability a lot lately.  I’ve been thinking that it’s probably something most people don’t think that much about, but it’s something everyone needs.

When you’re growing up, you have your parents, who, in their best efforts, keep you accountable.  Then, throughout life, we have teachers, coaches, employers and maybe even co-workers that will hold us accountable, at least to the responsibilities we hold in their presence.  If we marry, we have our spouse to hold us accountable, and that’s always fun… So fun, that many marriages end in divorce.

Any recovery or improvement program worth its weight, has an accountability plan.  Everyone knows that to overcome something, you have to have someone you trust, that you can be completely transparent with.  Someone who knows your weaknesses and will speak truth to you, even when you don’t want to hear it.  Better yet, someone who will commit to pray for you.

So, why don’t more people have accountability partners?  I think it’s because most of us don’t like to admit that we have issues.  Fear and pride are pretty big obstacles.  It’s hard to tell someone that you over eat, and the reasons why, or that you look forward to a glass a wine too much, or you loose your temper on your kids, or you like your computer screen more than your spouse.  It’s the same reasons most folks think they don’t need a Savior.  It’s the ultimate deception.

If you are serious about your personal growth and justification, you need to get transparent with someone.  We were created for relationship, and that includes accountability.  It’s not always fun, but it’s real…and worth it.

If you think you don’t have any reason for an accountability relationship, you’re in denial. Really.

Aug17

Revisiting the College Preparation Blog…

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Revisiting the College Preparation Blog…

Back in June, I blogged about helping my daughter prepare for college.  I re-visited that post this evening,  to see if I was still feeling the same, and if my Top 10 list held true through-out the summer.  I can testify that it did.  It is all true…every last one.

Tomorrow morning, we will unload my little girl, with a truck full of boxes, in the middle of a big city, and leave her there to start a new chapter in her life.   It will also be a new chapter in mine.

I’m sure I will cry, but that’s OK…Really.

Below is my blog from June… enjoy.

Yesterday, I took my only daughter shopping for dorm supplies.  She will be heading to college in August.  She is not my oldest, but she’s my first to go, and live on campus at a university, so this is new territory for me.

We had the 10 hour orientation last week – It was brutal.  I didn’t cry, and she didn’t pretend not to know me, so I think it was a win win.  It did however, make this all a tad bit more real for me.  She seemed totally chill with everything. She told me she wasn’t nervous at all!  It was all just too exciting for her.

I know she’s a great student.  She’s pretty responsible with things that matter… to her anyway. She has a relationship with Christ, and a heart to help others.  She knows what she wants, and she’s never been afraid to go for it.  She’s a leader, and knows how to follow when she has to – something that took her mama a while to learn… I know she will be OK, and I know she will miss me, eventually.  I must admit though, I will be anxiously awaiting that first phone call.  The one where she calls just to chat and hear my voice.  When my role as Mom will start to morph, and she will also call me friend.

Here is my top 10 for the week –

Top ten ways you know you have a kid about to go off to college

  1. You cry randomly…
  2. You have more bad dreams then normal
  3. You find yourself saying, “If you can’t blah blah blah here, how will you when you’re on your own?”
  4. You notice the “eye roll” has now been replaced with the “blank stare of don’t care”
  5. You will find anyway to bring up the fact that your child is leaving, in every conversation, even if it doesn’t fit, like when you order your lunch, (Waiter) “Are you ready to order ma’am?” (You) “well, I guess, ya know… I guess I need to get used to eating out more now that my child is going off to college”. (you will get a strange look and fake chuckle with this one)
  6. You will bring it up in every prayer group too… Try not to be to trigger happy with your request.. let other’s go first if you can.
  7. You will hear your child say “I love you mommy” and “leave me alone” several times in the same week.
  8. The intensity of your lectures about sex and drugs will escalate to un-godly proportions.
  9. Your personal prayer life will also intensify.
  10. You will decide that you have done the best you can do, and you will trust in your kid, and more in the God that created them, knowing that they will make mistakes, and you can’t fix everything for them… and that is OK… Really.

If you have any words of advice or would like to share your story or can add to this list, please do!

Aug15

Losing Weight…

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Losing Weight…

So. I’ve entered a weight loss competition.  Of course, that naturally must mean I need to lose weight.

I was always a skinny kid.  I ate whatever I wanted, and never, ever thought twice about it.  Soda, french fries, cookies, ice cream…  oh dang. I digress.  Anyway, I never had an issue with my weight.   Even after all of my pregnancies, I would slip my pre-baby jeans right on.  All of that finally came to end, as most good things do, after I had a complete hysterectomy.  I swear, I gained 30 pounds in a month.  I walked and went to the YMCA off and on, but nothing too regimented.  I couldn’t loose a pound!  I’m a very busy lady, so, I just decided that the new added weight wasn’t that bad. It was a better deal than the pre-hysterectomy issues I had suffered with, and I still wasn’t considered obese for heaven sake!  I had only gone up a size or two.

Well, ignoring your body, and keeping busy is not a good idea if you don’t want to gain more weight.  I obviously didn’t get that memo, and my new best friend was Denial, so over the next few years, I grew and grew.  I grew until I stopped changing in front of the mirror.  I stopped hanging out in cute shorts, and I never got out of the shower without a towel already tightly in place.  I even wondered what my husband really thought, and secretly feared that he might not be attracted to me anymore.

I would go through seasons of “trying” to do something about it, but life would always get in the way, and that dear friend, Denial, would remind me how important my responsibilities were. Busy, busy, busy.  Even when my cholesterol hit 400… I got a prescription, grabbed my friend Denial, and went out to dinner… I would usually fix my frustration by shopping for a new outfit.  New clothes can make you feel good, but apparently that only works the first time you wear them… for me anyway.

So here I am.  I’ve got a closet full of clothes, and I’ve sent Denial packin.  I took this opportunity to enter a competition, not only to lose weight, but to do it from the inside out. This is about life change, not another diet.   I am competing against 19 other people from my community, but my toughest competitor will be me.

I do this knowing that I can. I don’t need anymore clothes and my husband adores me no matter what my dress size.  Denial keeps calling, but I’ve changed my number.  I know I can do anything I set my mind to, and the time has come to set my mind to this…I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13…Really.

Aug12

Yep… still a home school mom… Part 2

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Yep… still a home school mom… Part 2

I started home schooling out of desperation, but I have continued out of conviction.

Right before I took my 7th grader out of public school all those years ago,  I had been substituting at a couple of middle schools.  My experiences in those schools were not pleasant. Things had changed drastically since my days of puberty, and it was not for the better.

I home-school because I want my son to learn without distraction.  I want his ears to be  sensitive to profanity and his heart to be soft to injustice.  I want to teach him that it’s God’s Word that matters most, not the most popular kids word…I want my son to know that God is in every single thing in his life, and it’s his very ability to learn that comes from Him.

I home school because I believe that all children deserve to learn in the way they were created and at the pace that their brains can keep up with.  I don’t teach to a test, and we don’t move on until there’s complete understanding.  The time will come soon enough when meeting the status quo will matter, but it’s not in adolescence.

I have learned that when you teach to a child’s heart, knowledge and understanding will follow.  Grades are just a way to see what we still need to learn.  They are not the defining mark of any child.  Their character is.

I have totally selfish reasons for home-schooling as well.  I love the schedule of it.  I love planning activities with my son, and going on field trips.  I love implementing life responsibilities in our education, and I just love being a part of the whole process… We rarely run out of time for the things that matter, because it all matters.

I believe that the public school systems do have the children’s best interest at heart.  I also believe, unfortunately, that their interest can only be diluted when you have the increased population in the classroom, and the varying, ever changing, opinions of those in control.  It is a government entity that has taken too big of an influence in our lives, in places where it has no business.

I choose to home school.  I take it seriously.  I don’t judge you if you choose not to, but I do admonish you to talk to your child about their day at school.  I implore you to be pro-active with your child’s studies. Get to know your child’s teacher.  They would probably appreciate your support!  Know what they are learning and be involved.   It’s your right as a parent.  You are your child’s best advocate, and their character development is up to you.

When all is said and done, and the diploma is hanging on the wall, the adult that your child becomes is really up to them.  We can only do what we can.  As I have said before…faith, hope, love and prayer will always be yours long after control and influence have expired.  Take comfort in those and know that God loves your kids more than you do. Really.

Aug2

Tough Tuesday…Dating

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Tough Tuesday…Dating

Yep. I said it, and I’m pulling out my soapbox to blog about it… Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

I have this dating thing on my mind because it is a hot topic around my house, and has been for some time. With 4 kids, aging from puberty to adult, we have had many conversations on this topic, as well as survived all kinds of situations, either personally, or through close friends…

I dated a lot in my day… I never really saw anything wrong with it either, until I really started noticing how many broken families and broken hearts there are in this world. The stats for divorce, unwanted pregnancies, and STD’s are staggering, and could be blog postings on their own…It’s hard to NOT notice how much the sexual revolution has progressed. Dating has changed, and it’s not for the better…The almighty “me” is reigning and it’s leaving devastation in it’s wake.

What is dating anyway? Webster says, An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest. Most folks would agree with that, although, the definition of “interest” can be defined many different ways. It used to mean that you would be looking towards a possible marriage partner, but most of the dating today doesn’t seem to have that goal in mind. It’s become more and more about satisfying our own lusts and desires, without the thought of consequences or the future.

Our society has lowered the bar to the acceptable dating age, and many parents seem to be OK with it.. Some parents even think it’s harmless and cute. Some can argue that it helps kids in deciding what type of person they like, and, that they need to experience those differences to be well rounded. Quite frankly, I think that is ridiculous. A child in middle school, or younger, does not know what kind of spouse they want. They don’t even know what kind of person they are going to be! Jumping from relationship to relationship is not going to help them figure any of that out.

So what do kids learn from dating? All this “practice” teaches them that people are replaceable. If things get hard, it’s time to quit. If something better comes along, well, it’s time to move on. It’s all about how “I” feel. If I’m not satisfied, then it’s over. How many little pieces of a heart can be passed out before all that’s left is so incomplete that it doesn’t work right anymore. By the time they do get married, they have already learned how to walk away. Broken hearts are the norm, almost a “right of passage”, not the exception. Where is the training in unconditional love and commitments, or better yet, covenants?

As a family with Christian values, I have told my kids time and again, that if God is sovereign over everything, that includes your future spouse. You do not need to “try” out relationships with several different people to see if they are the one. You need to be praying for your future spouse now, and have faith that God will bring you together at the perfect time, and you will know it. Of course, our kids haven’t always listened to us.  The world is constantly screaming just the opposite, through music, television, and the movies. Even Disney thinks kids should be focused on relationships… Poor Zack and Cody were even scripted in elementary school to chase girls.

Teach your kids to just be friends. Teach them to pray for their futures and to seek God’s will for their lives. When those hormones rear their ugly heads, affirm them, and help them take control of it… and not let those hormones take control of them. Communicate.  Healthy relations start with God, then families, and friends. Romance will then have a runway that’s paved accurately.

If you are a parent that has encouraged young dating, STOP IT. Culture is wrong on this one. Look around and see what this out of control sexual desire has gotten us. It all starts somewhere. (1 Thes 4:3-5)

If your kids are older, and are already out in the dating world, or, if you yourself are in it, let me offer some advice. One of the things we had our kids do as they got older, was to prayerfully make a list of the qualities they would want in a spouse. We then told them to strive to BE the person, that person would desire as well… Anyone who fell short to that list, should simply remain a “friend”. God will not only satisfy your list, but he will bless you with someone who has qualities you never even thought of…

The hardest part is waiting. Patience in the world of relationships is almost unheard of. But think about this, it only takes a minute to recall your heartbreaks, no matter how long ago they were. Don’t we want better for our kids? Who they marry is one of the most important decisions they will make in their life.  Shouldn’t we be preparing them for it?  Be pro-active and teach self control. It will be worth it.

If your reading this, and your heart is still in pieces, and you feel you don’t have much left to give, don’t give up! God is a full restorer of hearts. It’s His speciality. Give it all to Him and let your healing begin… (2 Cor.5:17)

There are many resources available for your kids and for you on this topic. One of my favorites is, Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships, by Chip Ingram. You can find this at www.livingontheedge.org

Jul8

For the Dogs…Top 10

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For the Dogs…Top 10

I’m a better parent than a dog owner.  Really.

At first glance into my home, you can clearly see that my kids have it way better than my dogs. But just in case you never get a peak into the pathetic lives of my canines, I will honor them in this weeks top 10…

The top 5 ways my kids have it better than my dogs…

  1. My kids have free roam of the house. My dogs can only inhabit 3 rooms.
  2. My kids get to ride in my car all the time.  My dogs only travel to the vet when they are sick or need a shot. (I hate the slobber marks they leave on the window)
  3. I serve a variety of meals to my kids. The dogs get Purina Lamb & Rice. Everyday, twice a day. (if no one forgets) 365 days a year.
  4. My kids decide what they wear, for the most part.  My dogs wear whatever cute or ridiculous outfit that suits my fancy…
  5. My kids can use the bathroom when they need to.  My dogs have to wait till I feel like getting up…

The top 5 ways my dogs have it better than my kids…

  1. My dogs can run around in the yard all day.  My kids have responsibilities.
  2. I bathe my dogs in the “big” tub.  My kids bathe themselves. Period.
  3. My dogs can sleep all day if they want to.  My kids get up in the morning. Or else.
  4. Dogs invented the “puppy dog” look, and it always works for them.  My kids… not so much.
  5. If my dogs have an accident in the house, they get yelled at. Maybe.  If my kids have an accident in the house, they get grounded, and possibly an appointment with a specialist.

So, who do you really think has it better?