Tag Archives: womenhood

Jun8

Fellowship…

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Fellowship…

Yesterday was kind of a girl day for me.  I had lunch with 2 sweet friends I hadn’t seen in a few months, and then I had women’s bible study at my house that evening.  It was a wonderful day filled with laughing, crying, hugs, and love….

This morning when the alarm went off, I was not pleased.  I rolled over and told my husband I was too tired today!  He grunted and told me it was because I had too much girl time yesterday… which is “life force draining”.  Seriously?  Then he tells me that women have the “D.E.F.” (Drama Effect Factor)  Then he tells me that he thinks all women should come with a DEF label… any woman over a 10, should probably be a Nun, because most men couldn’t handle her.  Then he actually said, “Men have a DEF issue with women sometimes”.  YOU THINK?

He was totally playing around with me this morning and teasing me for keeping him and my son trapped in the basement until 10PM, while me and eight of my girlfriends had a fabulous time together.  He was a riot, and it did get me up – mostly to just slap him …

After I got out the door, I was thinking about what he said, and it really did make sense in a way.  Women do share emotion.  Men usually don’t.  Women usually deal with drama.  Men don’t.  I wouldn’t classify sharing each other’s burdens “drama” – but men usually do.  Now, I know there are exceptions to this rule – and my man has even been spotted tearing up at a Publix commercial or two.  He even attends a “men’s group” each week where they take a “lie” of the world and compare it to the truth of the Word… aaaaand they talk about sports…

I was actually melancholy yesterday before I had all of my “girl time”.  I have had a lot on my mind, and was just feeling blah.  After spending the day with my friends, I felt better.  Really better.  I didn’t feel “life force drained”.  I felt revived.

I think fellowship is very important.  It’s even important to God.  The Bible is filled with instruction and encouragement on fellowship. Hebrews 10:23-25 says, “ Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another —and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

I love spending time with my girlfriends.  I recommend joining a small group, or mom’s group, book club, or something.  Bible Studies come with the added bonus of learning God’s Word together, as well as praying for each other, which is awesome…  I know some ladies out there think they are loners.  You’re not.  You might not like a big group, and that’s OK, but no one should be alone all the time.  We weren’t designed for that.  You might have been burned or you’re scared, but we’ve ALL been burned and are scared!  True fellowship is worth the risk.  I promise.

I love being a girl and I love fellowship… How about you?

Oct16

Friends

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Friends

I’ve been thinking about my friends lately, and how blessed I am to have them.  I then began to ponder each relationship I have, and I gleaned a new appreciation for the diversity and intensity of the cast of characters I call friends.

I think many of us have close friends and the rest fall in the category of “friend”, just at varying levels.  Then we have the “just Facebook” friends and acquaintances.  I do consider most of my Facebook friends, friends though.  I’ve tried to stay away from the acquaintances on Facebook, but there are a few…There’s only a small group of folks that I haven’t really communicated with in decades, but have fond memories of from my youth.  It is interesting to see how they grew up.  Some of those old friends still look the same, and some I wouldn’t know if I walked into them at the mall.  Either way, I am glad to have reconnected.

My “friends”, are those that I really do enjoy, but I don’t get to see very often.  I think about them every now and then, and will offer up a prayer on their behalf .  They are on my Facebook and I may actually comment on their posts… I always realize how much I miss them when I do get to see them.

I spend most time with my close friends.  I have a group of ladies, that are not all friends with each other, but all mean the world to me. They are a very diverse group, which is kinda funny to me when I think about it.  My girls range between 3 decades in ages, they are all different shapes and sizes and occupations.  Some are married, and some are single.  Most of my BFF’s have kids, but not exclusively.  I have friends that pray for me, and with me, and some that just send me good vibes and happy thoughts.  I even have friends that are on both sides of the political fence and we can always meet in the middle and agree to disagree without hard feelings. Really.

Several years ago, I heard a pastor say to look around at your friends.  If they are all exactly like you, there is a problem.  If we are truly trying to be like Christ, we should have friends that cover a broad range of life.  At the time, all of my close confidents, could have been my twin.  Now, I can truly testify to the blessings that abound in diversity in friendships.  I have been challenged, and confronted.  I have been forced to step outside of my comfort zone at times, and truly see people from the inside out.  I have had the opportunity to share my faith, and pray for them and I have given them lots of opportunities to pray for me!  I have served in love and have been served in love. I have even changed my mind on more than one occasion and I have definitely grown more as a person because of my friends.

My husband is my best friend, (really) but after him, the Lord has brought some fabulous women into my life. Women need girlfriends and my friends rock.

How about you? Have you told your friends how much you appreciate them lately?

Aug15

Losing Weight…

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Losing Weight…

So. I’ve entered a weight loss competition.  Of course, that naturally must mean I need to lose weight.

I was always a skinny kid.  I ate whatever I wanted, and never, ever thought twice about it.  Soda, french fries, cookies, ice cream…  oh dang. I digress.  Anyway, I never had an issue with my weight.   Even after all of my pregnancies, I would slip my pre-baby jeans right on.  All of that finally came to end, as most good things do, after I had a complete hysterectomy.  I swear, I gained 30 pounds in a month.  I walked and went to the YMCA off and on, but nothing too regimented.  I couldn’t loose a pound!  I’m a very busy lady, so, I just decided that the new added weight wasn’t that bad. It was a better deal than the pre-hysterectomy issues I had suffered with, and I still wasn’t considered obese for heaven sake!  I had only gone up a size or two.

Well, ignoring your body, and keeping busy is not a good idea if you don’t want to gain more weight.  I obviously didn’t get that memo, and my new best friend was Denial, so over the next few years, I grew and grew.  I grew until I stopped changing in front of the mirror.  I stopped hanging out in cute shorts, and I never got out of the shower without a towel already tightly in place.  I even wondered what my husband really thought, and secretly feared that he might not be attracted to me anymore.

I would go through seasons of “trying” to do something about it, but life would always get in the way, and that dear friend, Denial, would remind me how important my responsibilities were. Busy, busy, busy.  Even when my cholesterol hit 400… I got a prescription, grabbed my friend Denial, and went out to dinner… I would usually fix my frustration by shopping for a new outfit.  New clothes can make you feel good, but apparently that only works the first time you wear them… for me anyway.

So here I am.  I’ve got a closet full of clothes, and I’ve sent Denial packin.  I took this opportunity to enter a competition, not only to lose weight, but to do it from the inside out. This is about life change, not another diet.   I am competing against 19 other people from my community, but my toughest competitor will be me.

I do this knowing that I can. I don’t need anymore clothes and my husband adores me no matter what my dress size.  Denial keeps calling, but I’ve changed my number.  I know I can do anything I set my mind to, and the time has come to set my mind to this…I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13…Really.

Jul31

A Week in the Life…

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A Week in the Life…

This week was eventful and uneventful…

My mood ranged from ecstatic to forlorn… stressed to carefree, and disappointed to satisfied.  You could say it sounds like I’m a mom, but I can’t monopolize the roller coaster, as anyone could have a turn…I will share some of my week, in hopes that you can relate and share yours with me.

I finished a book (Weird) and started a new one (Heaven is for Real), and went to my women’s group study to watch a Beth Moore video, and fellowship. I made it to a few business appointments that went well, and learned some things about the community where I live.  I participated in lively conversations about homosexuality and christianity, as well as government and morality, and didn’t loose any friends in the process.

One of my kids needed lots of reassurance, and one needed hope, one needed cash and they all needed time.  I visited a doctor, and a hospital, and watched my sons be brave.  I met a “new” potential girlfriend, that I actually really liked, and I had a couple soul searching conversations about the future.  My daughter surprised me with her new tattoo and then I had to social network my “approval” of it…

I ate really well this week, and was rarely alone.  I had a few fabulous lunches, with good friends, and even a date night with my handsome man.  Some marvelous live music was part of the week, from a jazz band to an oldies band. I even attended a birthday party, and made some new friends…

The homeschool expo was in town, and I got out with just a few purchases… my bag was less than 10 pounds… I think.  I visited a non-profit that deals with homelessness on levels that I’ve never seen.  I gave a few dollars to a jobless man sitting on a corner.  Both experiences convicted my heart, and made me reflect on the billions of blessings I have.

I prayed, studied, cleaned, cooked, shopped, banked, and did some laundry. I even tweeted, texted, emailed, facebooked, checked in, and linked in…The bills got paid, and the account is balanced, although my desk is still a mess, and my file pile should have it’s own zip code.  I watched some stupid tv, and some not so stupid…mostly stupid.

I did enforce some rules, and debated some negotiables… I lamented over my youth when physical exhaustion took over, and I lamented over my children’s youth… because they are just so dang grown.

I entered a weight loss contest, and finished a huge project that has taken months of my time… and now, I attempt to blog.

I’m sure I forgot something, but I’m too tired to reflect any longer.  My life is good, and I don’t take it for granted.  Even when the trials come, I know how blessed I am and my gratitude list is long… Really.

How was your week and what are you grateful for?

Jul17

Am I really a grown up already?

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Am I really a grown up already?

I spend a lot a time talking about parenting, and how my kids have grown, but last night, while watching my 13 year old try to take out his new contact lenses, I got a sudden “chill” of realization that I’m grown up. Maybe remembering being a teen wrestling with my own new contacts caused this “familiar” revelation… I don’t know if you know what I mean, but every now and then, out of the blue, I realize that I am a real adult, and it’s weird.

We spend our childhood wanting to be older, and our teen time wishing the years away.  Then one day, all of a sudden, we notice we have responsibilities, debt, and lots of lists…   Do you ever stop and ponder that for a second, or am I just on my own with this one?

I remember watching the premiere of MTV, now I watch the news, and care. I remember big hair and bell bottoms, and mocking my little brother for wearing parachute pants.  Now, comfort trumps style, always.  We really did come in when it got dark and no one was worried about it.  Now, I always know where my kids are playing, and I check on them periodically.  Kids talked on the phone, and didn’t mind being connected to a wall.  Now, the art of actual talking is fading into the land of abbreviations.  We used to wear our “Sunday best” to church and liked it.  Now, it’s all about looking relaxed, because apparently, Jesus loves us no matter what we are wearing.  Too bad a potential employer doesn’t share that philosophy… Fast food was a luxury, and dinner around the table was the norm… Really…My kids think fast food is a way of life.   I used to dream that I would marry Shaun Cassidy and I loved Donny & Marie… I married someone way better than Shaun, that exceeded my dreams, and no one has yet to replace Donny & Marie… Life just seemed easier.   This world that my kids are growing up in, is a very different place than the one I experienced.  I like to believe that this generation is made for such a time as this.

Sometimes I feel like it happened so fast!  When did I become this “responsible” parental kinda girl in this seriously material world?  I think I’m just too young to be this old… But then I look around at all my blessings, shake off the “chill”, and smile, because I am. Really.

Carly Simon put it this way-

I remember a time, rompin’ through the woods

Sun against our skin instead of clothes
When we felt hungry we would eat, when we felt glad we would dance
And whenever we felt drowsy we would doze

It was so easy then never takin’ any stands
It was so easy then, holdin’ hands

I remember a time when our fears could be named
And courage meant not refusing dares
I remember when we took such cares to step never on the cracks,
No only on the squares
Or else we’d be abducted by the bears

It was so easy then never makin’ any plans
It was so easy then, holdin’ hands

And now we are grown, with debts and regrets
And broken hearts and sentimental schemes
Now every tender failure seems to overthrow old dreams
Love can lead a normal woman to extremes

It was so easy once, holdin’ hands without a plan
It was so easy once holdin’ hands
Just holdin’ hands

 

Jun27

My Birthday

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My Birthday

My birthday was last week.  Let’s just sit on that for a second and think about your own birthday.  Are you one of those who lie about their age or never wants to tell anyone?  Or do you just smile and blurt it out to anyone who asks?  My mother-in-law is 39, even though she lived though the depression and has great grand-children. (I’ve been advised by my counsel the ramifications of that sentence. I’m hoping her sense of humor has grown with age)

I must admit that I have always been shy about my age.  Not because I’m old, but because I’m young.  Crazy huh?  I think it comes from having children so young, and having that “you’re tooooo young” response.  The 2 weeks between my son’s birthday and mine was always the time I prayed that no one would ask my age, because if they did the math, they would figure out that I was 15 when I gave birth, instead of 16…like 16 is so much better? Anyway, I’m 43 and you’d think I’d be over it by now.  I am for the most part. But I still have my days.

I wanted to add a top ten list to this post about birthdays.  I thought the funniest list I could come up with would be “top ten worst gifts from your husband” but then I thought that wouldn’t be fair, because my husband has only given me a few really bad ones and this year, with the help of my daughter and friends, he outdid himself. So, given the awesomeness of this year’s celebration, even if I know the helpers did all the work, I don’t want to throw my man under the bus, so I will go with the “top ten ways you know you’re getting older”…

  1. You can’t focus on conversations in the car if the radio is too loud. (or even on in some cases)
  2. The radio is always too loud, unless you’re alone, and you’re trying to stay awake or you’re really in a praise and worship mood, and then you don’t care who sees you singing your heart out at a red light.
  3. Dinner and a movie are rare date nights, because after the dinner, you’re full and ready for bed.
  4. Eating fast food really does make you feel like crap.
  5. Jumping out of bed in the morning is a thing of the past.  Now you stretch, snap, crackle and pop before you roll on out.
  6. Your friends are not all getting married and having babies, now your friends kids are graduating, getting married, and having babies.
  7. You’ve realized that recreational and school sports are just games.  The outcome will not permanently affect anyone’s life.
  8. You realize that PBS & the History Channel do have some good programming.
  9. You check the weather forecast regularly. (although I still don’t know why)
  10. You’ve realize the importance of listening, sharing and patience, and that time really does fly, and you don’t want to waste any of it.

So there you have it.  I know this list could really be a top 100, but I can’t sit here all day.  I love growing up. I don’t even mind the gray hair coming in.  God was so sweet to put these verses in His Word for us;

Proverbs 16:31 (NIV) “Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.”

Isaiah 46:4 (NIV) “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.”

Isaiah 46:3b-4a LB I have created you and cared for you since you were born. I will be your God through all your lifetime, Yes, even when your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you.”

If you have something to add to this list, please do!  Thank you for reading and may you be blessed, whatever age you are…